A memory popped up today and it brought me back to the summer of 2016.
3 years ago, I threw my first 1st birthday party as a mom.
But it was different than the “normal” 1st birthday party. See, J wasn’t just my son, he was my foster son.
I wanted so badly for my foster kids to have everything that “normal” kids have. I didn’t want them to miss out on things like birthdays because of circumstances that they did not deserve. I didn’t want a period in their life to be void of things I would want my kids to have. I wanted to give them the world.
I was so nervous planning the party. We hadn’t established enough of a relationship with the bio parents to do a joint birthday so it was one of those things they never asked about and so we just never mentioned. I didn’t want them to feel left out or feel like it was something they could never give him. It was always such a balancing act between sharing their kids’ lives with them but making sure it was never in a boastful way.
I remember buying the 1st birthday themed decorations and just being so overwhelmed and excited and kind of sad at the same time.
Throwing a 1st birthday is a big moment for a mom. Especially for a woman who makes such a big deal out of birthdays and special moments. I am that person. This wasn’t just a 1st birthday but signified something I’d thought about for a while. I didn’t know when my first 1st birthday would happen but I knew it would.
I made the chalkboard with all of his stats. I borrowed my friend’s nice camera to take non-iPhone pictures. I invited all of the people who had helped us love on him for 3 months. It was a big deal.
J went home less than 6 months later and while I always knew in my heart he would, it didn’t take away from all of the firsts I had with him.
This weekend we get to celebrate him turning 4 and that will continue to be something I cherish every year.
I’ll never forget the first 1st birthday I threw. I’ll never forget that day and how special it was for him and for me. It’s one of those memories he gets in my heart. My first 1st birthday party as a mom.
#fostermoms #fosterparents #thisisfostercare #firstbirthdayparty